


Never Got Over It

by newtntommy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comforting Wade, M/M, PTSD, Peter has a panic attack, peter never got over being crushed, wade comes to comfort peter, worried wade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 04:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11706717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newtntommy/pseuds/newtntommy
Summary: Peter Parker never got over being crushed by the building. He never got over struggling to keep himself alive. He never forgot the moment of pure hopelessness he experienced alone. Now he finds himself reliving the dreaded moment again, and he loses faith.Wade comforts him.





	Never Got Over It

**Author's Note:**

> Why did I do this??? Oh my god...
> 
> Well, anyway, I did see a post on tumblr about Peter never getting over being crushed and having claustrophobia because of it. It was really sad to read, and why did I write this??
> 
> Let me just say that Tom Holland is by far my favorite spider-man. He's a cute, precious boy who needs to be protected. I hope I don't get any hate for shipping this spider-man with deadpool considering the age difference, but psh oh well! You can just imagine tobey or andrew if you want. 
> 
> Please comment if you liked it. Maybe give me a prompt? I am obsessed with this ship and I will go down with it.

Peter Parker can hardly breathe. 

He thought he was over it. He thought the dark thoughts swarming in and out of his mind had gone away, but they _haven’t_. 

The musky scent of dust and rubble overwhelms him, though he knows he is in his very clean room. He can’t seem to focus on any object near him. Nausea swirls around in his stomach like a tornado, causing him to dry heave absolutely nothing due to not eating anything in the past ten hours. 

He forms tight fists with his hands to try to feel something, anything. He doesn’t feel like a living being right now. The sharp smell of blood whisks in the air, and he looks down and becomes more nauseous by the sight of blood on his palms from his fingernails. 

_‘If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.’_

“I’m Spider-Man! I’m spider-man… I’m spider-man…” Peter hiccups, grabbing at his chest for the ability to breathe again. He clutches onto his new suit with shaky fingers. He can’t choose whether he wants to rip it to pieces or never let it go. 

Flashes of rubble and cement in his mind causes him to cough madly, desperate for another breath. The chalky cement was crushing him, and he gasps for air. He flinches when suddenly he feels something wet drip onto his forearms, and he knows he is crying. His legs wobble underneath him, and he desperately tries to keep standing. 

It’s dark around him, and he hears the unmistakable noise of rocks clashing. He can no longer see, and the tears flooding his eyelids don’t help. At the back of his mind, he knows he’s in his room. The slight comforting thought does nothing to clear up his nightmare of being stuck and unable to help himself.

He peers up at the ceiling with his imagination running wild. He sees smoke surrounding him, and he chokes on it. He reaches up and pulls at the collar of his suit, frantically pulling hard. 

He collapses to the floor with “I’m spider-man” rolling off his tongue. He claws at his carpet as he brings his body into a ball. He cries harder into his shoulder as he feels himself being pushed into the floor. He tries to at least get to his hands and feet, but his body fails him. 

From a far distance, he can hear his phone ringing. He recognizes it to be the ringtone he set for Mr. Stark. He wails into the carpet, knowing he can’t help Mr. Stark. He was going to be kicked out. They’re going to tell him that he isn’t strong enough to be an avenger. What would they think of him right now? Crying like a little kid? And for _what_? Simply for fighting off a bad guy and getting stuck under the ruins of a building? Who cries over that?

His eyesight clears up long enough for him to notice his red mask merely a foot away from him. As soon as the flashback hit him, he had yanked the mask off and thrown it on the ground. 

He doesn’t deserve the suit. Mr. Stark made it for a hero. He was no hero. He was weak.

He is thankful to know that Aunt May was at the grocery store right now, because he would be beyond embarrassed and devastated for her to watch him like this. Ever since she found out, she’s been so worried about him every time he leaves for patrol. He’s continuously told her that he can do this. He can help keep the city safe. He’s spider-man! 

But now? 

_‘Can’t you just be a friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man?’_

Reality kicks in, and he knows he was dumb to try. What was he going to do for the city? Catch a few robbers? He was only a kid. He’ll only make it worse somehow. He let a building fall on top of him, and he had been too weak to pick himself up. He had been under it for several minutes, while a real avenger could’ve easily slid it right off. 

Mr. Stark knew from the beginning that he was no avenger. He would be no leverage to the team. He was not powerful enough. He was just some teenage boy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time with some measly spider. 

His mind toys with him, forcing him to imagine Aunt May, Ned, or MJ stuck under the building. He tries with all his might to save them, but he can’t. He watches as hope floods out of their bodies, and he watches as they take their last breath. He failed them. He let them die. 

His body shakes, his face and arms are soaked with his tears, his ears are ringing, and he fights for air. The haunting sounds of crumbling rocks and debris floods his ears, and he covers them with shaky hands. 

“I’m spider-man…I’m spider-man...” Peter chants under his breath. 

He is too busy trying to keep the sounds out to hear his bedroom window slide open. 

He screams when a hand is suddenly on his back. Unfortunately, once he let out that first scream, he can’t stop and the dam breaks. 

He is no longer in his room. He is being crushed by the building. Chalky smoke swarms his senses, and he claws harshly at the ground. He wills himself to push the heavy mass off him, but he falters and falls back down. His eyes sting and his throat hurts from screaming, but he can’t stop. Pain surges up his arm, and he can’t do it anymore. 

“I’m spider-man…I’m spider-man…”

He yelps in surprise when his arm is snatched up. He tries to pull his arm back, but the force is unrelenting. 

“Shh...shh… You…cutting…clean…alright?” 

Peter shakes his head to show that he has no idea what the mysterious voice is saying. It does hold familiarity, but he can’t put a name to it. Through his squinted eyes, he can see black and red in front of him. He has stopped pulling to have his arm back. The hold on his arm was not hurtful, so he chooses to lay there crying. 

He’s not strong enough. How could he fight off somebody now? 

He jumps when he feels fingers running through his hair. It was such a delicate touch, that it has him crying harder. It nearly distracts him from the crushing sensation he feels on his whole body. 

The voice is talking some more, but he can hardly hear. The voice sounds so soothing, and he wants to hear what it’s saying. With one last hiccup, he stills himself to focus his hearing. 

“You’re okay…shh…you’re okay. I promise. Can you hear me, baby boy?” 

Baby boy.

There is only one person who calls him that, and the knowledge makes him shutter. 

Deadpool, though he knows his real name is Wade Wilson. What the hell is Deadpool doing here? How does he know where he lives? Was he really that bad as an avenger, that he can’t even keep his identity a secret? 

Wade must realize that he is beginning to freak out more, and the tender fingers tug lightly at his hair. “Shh…don’t worry about that right now. You cut your arm pretty bad, so I’m going to get a wash cloth. I’ll only be gone for two seconds, okay?” 

Peter wants to snort at the reassurance, considering it stupid for him not being able to make it alone. Though, when his arm is released, his chest tightens up once he sees his very bloody arm. He whimpers at the pain, noticing now that his other arm has blood and skin under his fingernails. 

He can’t breathe again, and he is clawing at the air. He was so wrong. He needs Wade right now. Where is he? Where did he go-

“You’re so strong for me, baby boy,” Wade says as he sits back down. He gingerly takes Peter’s arm back, and he dabs it with the wash cloth. Peter cries out and tries to tug his arm back, but Wade keeps a strong enough grip on him. “Of course, though, you are the amazing spider-man. You’re stronger than anyone I know.” 

Peter flinches at the name, unable to believe it. He has a little of his eyesight back, and he looks up at Deadpool. Deadpool was one of his friends, even though he disliked the merc’s job. He had made it known that he did not approve of Wade’s job from the very beginning. Wade had simply shrugged, as if he didn’t care in the slightest. 

Their friendship only grew from there, since the older male always joined him on his patrol nights. Peter’s disapproval must have meant something to him because Wade never killed anyone around him. He only helped trap and tie them up for the policemen to come get them.

From time and again, they’ll have their moments. Their relationship wasn’t considered to be a normal one. Wade will continuously flirt with him, and Peter will wave them off. Wade was so much older than him, and it was hard to look over. Aunt May would have Wade’s head. Maybe in a few years he’ll reciprocate. 

He stops struggling with the other man. After all he’s seen Wade do to criminals, he never thought he’d see Wade be so careful. He watches as Wade presses the wet cloth against the wounds, barely flinching now. He never imagined seeing Wade be so soft. 

Having his friend here didn’t make everything go away. He still struggles to breathe, and he knows his eyes are red from crying. He’s sure he looks like a total mess, and he must appear so weak right now. 

He curls back into himself, and he hiccups as he tries to ignore the nausea and shakiness within him. Peter feels Wade wrap the cloth around his now clean wound, and his heart skips a beat when he sees Wade stand up. “Wait-“

“One second…” 

In a flash, the lights are switched on and Wade is back beside him. Peter gazes around at the light, and he can feel himself relax a little bit more. 

Wade lays down on his side beside Peter, who goes to lay on his back. Peter can’t meet Wade’s eyes. His face is red with embarrassment. 

A finger starts to trace his cheek, and Peter looks up at Wade. Wade must have taken off his mask too, and Peter looks at the scarred tissue. It doesn’t bother him. He wishes Wade hadn’t gone through so much pain to be who he is now. 

“Can I ask what brought this on?” Wade whispers carefully. There isn’t judgement in his eyes, and Peter is taken back by the amount of seriousness looking right at him. 

Peter looks away from Wade’s eyes, choosing to look at the other man’s upper suit. He doesn’t know why, but he reaches up to toy with one of the straps on Wade’s suit. 

“I-I…I was fighting a bad guy,” Peter begins with a shaky voice. He clears his throat. “He had some dangerous weapons, and nobody believed me. I had to take him on by myself, but I didn’t mind. I wanted to prove myself to Mr. Stark. He took away my new suit, so I was stuck with my old one.

“He…I had gone to interrogated him, and he flew his own suit around and tore down the poles holding up the building,” Peter continues. He can feel his fingers start to shake again, and his eyes become watery, but he keeps talking. “I got stuck under the rubble, and I could- _couldn’t_ get out. I pushed and pushed and pushed, but I couldn’t push the building off of me!” 

Peter is pulled into Wade’s chest, who shushes him. Wade caresses the younger male’s face, running a scarred thumb along his cheek. 

“I just want to be strong…” Peter whimpers in Wade’s chest. 

“Nonsense,” Wade speaks up. His lips are inches away from Peter’s forehead as he talks. “You are so strong, Peter. You’re one of the strongest superheroes I know. You go to high school, you are part of that super smart nerdy club, you take care of your Aunt May, and you fight crime. Who else can say they do that much?” 

Peter can only sniffle, while half his brain says don’t believe him and the other begs for him to listen. 

Wade runs his fingers through Peter’s hair. “You’re a better man than I ever will be.” 

Peter snorts and shakes his head. He lays his head against Wade’s chest. He moves to get closer to the man, wrapping his lower leg around Wade’s. “You’re a better man than you think you are.” 

Wade leans back far enough to where Peter has to look at him. Wade caresses Peter’s jaw, running a finger along Peter’s eyelids. He wipes some of Peter’s tears away. “You’re so strong. You got out of that rubble because you are Spider-Man! You could fight a dozen bad guys blind-folded.” 

Peter blushes at the praise, and he wraps his hand around Wade’s wrist. He could stay in this position forever. He feels incredibly safe right here, where his dark thoughts are long gone. 

He doesn’t know he had closed his eyes until he feels lips press against his forehead. 

He doesn’t even move when his phone goes off again. Wade grabs it and answers, “Leave Spidey alone. He needs a break.” 

Peter chuckles in Wade’s chest. When Wade throws the phone across the room, Peter peeks up at him. “You do know, they are probably going to come check on me.” 

“Yeah, and I’ll give them the finger until they leave.” 

Peter laughs, losing his will to care. He leans into Wade’s body as if the man was his lifeline. Right now, he possibly could be. He falls asleep with a smile on his lips.


End file.
